AHA. GOTCHA.
Mar. 11th, 2009 06:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agilebritI stuck the opening scene in first person present tense to see if I could figure out exactly where I went wrong with it, and then printed it out to take with me while we went to run errands, and, behold...
Not!Harry is totally channeling Michael Weston from "Burn Notice." Which would be cool if he resembled Michael in any way whatsoever. However, since he doesn't, at all, this is a bad thing.
And now that I know what's wrong, I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to fix it.
It's pretty bad when I'm writing a character I created myself OOC. *headdesks repeatedly* GYAH.
Also, I start it in the wrong place. I should start with them taking him, clearly. Either that, or start with them breaking his glasses against his face, because the later in the scene you can start it and still have it make sense, the better.
I shall now cease my gratuitous use of italics and see if I can't channel that into some not-so-gratuitous (really!) violence instead.
Not!Harry is totally channeling Michael Weston from "Burn Notice." Which would be cool if he resembled Michael in any way whatsoever. However, since he doesn't, at all, this is a bad thing.
And now that I know what's wrong, I have to figure out how the hell I'm going to fix it.
It's pretty bad when I'm writing a character I created myself OOC. *headdesks repeatedly* GYAH.
Also, I start it in the wrong place. I should start with them taking him, clearly. Either that, or start with them breaking his glasses against his face, because the later in the scene you can start it and still have it make sense, the better.
I shall now cease my gratuitous use of italics and see if I can't channel that into some not-so-gratuitous (really!) violence instead.
