Arrant Nonsense

Yeah, that "I Write Like..." meme?

Is advertising for a vanity press. Hell, I didn't even notice that stupid "how to get published" link. And, initially, he only had three women on the list. He's been called on his BS, and responded dismissively. I'm the last person in the world to scream about "white male privilege," but damn. jimhines has more.

Dammit, I hate being taken for a ride like this. That'll teach me to eye memes with a gimlet eye from now on. I've removed the badge and the link from my LJ.

In other news, I'm 650 words into the Framed!Werewolf story and still unconvinced that either the idea or the execution is any good whatsoever. And I have no idea where it's going. *grump*

Meme-sheepage!

EDIT: I've removed it. This thing may think I write like David Foster Wallace, but I'm damned if I'm going to do a vanity press's advertising for it. Also, having read some of Mr. Wallace's prose, I am convinced that I write nothing like him at all.

I got this guy for Zombies!, hitman!Ben, Sold Soul, Merc&theSnake, and Faerie Show. And I don't know if I should be flattered or frightened. I'd never even heard of him before now, but he was apparently a big deal.

On a hilarious note, I got Lewis Carroll for the Bunny from Hell story. What is that I don't even.

In other, other news, I got to skip=200 on the flist and gave up. This is what happens when I slack on checking my flist. I fail. Woe.

EDIT: This is hilarious. I've never even heard of this guy before today, and I'm perusing Yahoo Answers, and guess what I see? Clearly, I will have to find something he's written and read it now.

Snagged from the lovely and effulgent luxuria_oceanus.

ONE. How do you feel right now?

It's been a day.

TWO. What's your favorite pastime?


THREE. Do you consider yourself a strange person?


( And the other nine questions are under the bouncing lj-cut... )

Snagged from the lovely and effulgent highlander_ii: List every TV show you have on DVD, no matter how obscure or embarrassing. Okay, I'm game. *starts @ top of shelf*

1. Angel, s1, s5
2. Firefly
3. Wonderfalls
4. My Own Worst Enemy
5. Pushing Daisies, s1, s2
6. Baa Baa Black Sheep, s1, s2
7. Battlestar Galactica (reboot), complete
8. Farscape, complete
9. Lois & Clark, s1, s2, s3
10. Veronica Mars, s1, s2
11. Dukes of Hazzard, s2
12. Starsky & Hutch, s1
13. Perfect Strangers, s1, s2
14. Burn Notice, s1, s2
15. Lost, s1, s2, s3
16. Heroes, s1, s2
17. 24, s1

Huh. That's more than I thought I had, but less than I should have. Seriously, no Buffy, not nearly enough Angel, and I'm woefully behind on buying Lost. No Dollhouse, or Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, or Brisco County Jr, or Chuck...

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble/ficlet of any pairing/character of their choosing. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level (or not, your call). (If you absolutely can't write, maybe find a creative alternative?)

Fandoms: Firefly, Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (the movie, not the TW episode), The Mentalist. Or you can request something in my own 'verse because my giant ego is giant. No slash or smut, please, because those are really not my strong suits and you don't want me to throw something out there that's badly-written, do you?

Wow, that's a really pathetic fandom list. Sorry?

I can also do icons, headers, or wallpaper. Give me a cap and a quote if you like. :)

Because I don't have enough on my plate right now.

1. pensive1: The Mentalist, make Jane cry. Filled, with "He Who Hesitates."
2. bigsciencybrain: My 'verse, Ben and Alex have a conversation about women
3. garnigal: Firefly, Mal, damnation
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

picked up from amonitrate: Post a paragraph from every WIP you can find. No explanations allowed, just the excerpt.

Okay, in no particular order...

1. The power drain had killed this one. That was almost to Gabriel's advantage. No one would question finding a dead old man in his office, who looked like he'd succumbed to natural causes. The comatose ones, those were the problem.

2. "This is so going in my report." Baxter annihilated the last dust bunny and backed out, sneezing. "You can be replaced, you know. It's one thing for a couple of dust mice to get by you. But all of them?"

3. Something sandpapery scraped my arm. I opened my eyes and choked on a scream.

4. Mandy frowned at her on-again, off-again boyfriend. Russ didn't like his crew fraternizing, especially when part of that crew was his daughter--but she was a grown-up and made her own choices. "His mom the dragon princess is not going to be happy with that kind of language," she said. "Seriously, Charlie, what are you teaching him?"

5. "Erm. You don't really believe she's a god, do you? Because that'd weird me out, man."

6. "Enough with the 'it.' I'm a 'he,' thanks very much, and it would suit me fine if you remembered that." The voice sounded like a chipmunk would if it inhaled helium and spoke English. "Now, let me go. I have work to do."

7. "A stranger from halfway across the world," Olwyn scoffed. She deepened her drawl just to annoy her mother, whom she knew looked down her nose at the local accent. "What, none of the local dragons were good enough for Daddy?"

8. "At least the neighbors will be quiet," the realtor said, gesturing over the fence to the overgrown old cemetery fifty feet from the back door.

9. "He's one wolf, and not a very big one at that. He'll not be any trouble."

So, I did the DVD Commentary Meme (still open for playing, if anyone wants to), and ravens_gate requested a DVD commentary of a DVD extra, namely, the scene in which Ben and Janni meet again for the first time five years after they graduate from high school and go their separate ways. She goes off to college and majors in Theater and English, and he toddles off to a couple of tours in Afghanistan, where he is captured by insurgents and torture ensues. And... go.


This came about because of my innate inability to just let things go.  The original scene was about three paragraphs long, and entailed Janni describing for Megan her first meeting with Ben after he came back from Afghanistan.  I decided that was too much telling and not enough showing, and went into flashback mode instead, which turned into more like 1700 words.  And that was a fine and shiny thing--except for my aforementioned inability to let things go.  I love writing the same scene from two different points of view (see: both Iron Man stories I've written), and this one has the added bonus of being in first person, which POV I also love writing in and don't do nearly enough of.

( The rest of it is under here. )

Because I like navel-gazing as much as the next person, here, have this:

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from anything I've written, and comment to this post with that selection [Note: Please include the title/fandom & a link wouldn't be bad if it's something older]. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

Where you can find my stuff:
Snippets!
Fanfic!
Original fiction!

Hit me, flist. It would fill me with unseemly glee if someone wanted something from here.

Maybe I should do a commentary on that one anyway, because I love it so much...

She's in the dog's crate with an IV of lactated Ringer's in her leg, and I've got the raw numbers.

Her BUN (Blood Urea Nitrogen) level is 270. It's supposed to be between fourteen and thirty-six.

So. Yeah. If this works, I'll be amazed. But we're trying, right?

To keep my mind occupied (rather than running around like a rat in a maze), have an icon meme:

1. Comment to this entry saying 'ICONS!' and I will pick 6 of your icons.

2. Make an entry in your own journal and talk about the icons I picked!

The lovely and effulgent fenchurche picked these:

The artwork is from the brilliant and amazing Schlock Mercenary, by the handsome and talented hard-working howardtayler (if he sees this, he'll get the joke). It's one I've been known to use when I'm angry about something.


Sam Merlotte from "True Blood." He's a shapeshifter whose preferred form is a border collie on the show (a regular collie in the books). For awhile he replaced Robert Downey Jr as the guy playing Ben in my head, but then I saw the pic of Robert that I'm using for my default icon and now it's back to him. I use this one when talking about True Blood.


Sam again. I use this one when I'm really frustrated about something. This is more my "angry facepalm" than the other facepalm I have, which is more of a sad one.


A nerdy grammar quote from the movie "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang." But it's also apropos when I feel bad about something. Or when the mechanism that allows me to feel is broken and I'm benumbed by something instead. So many uses for one single icon--it multitasks!


Robert Downey Jr taking a polaroid in a weird little Volvo Promo called "The Route V50." You can watch Part One here and Part Two here--and I highly recommend you do. I have yet to show this to anyone at a Con who didn't immediately ask me to stick it on their thumb drive. I use this one when I post pictures.


You've all seen the quote "One by one, the penguins steal my sanity," right? Well, this is me. And therefore I substitute anteaters. Usually the anteaters stealing my sanity are Antubis and Flaubert, whom I have adopted as Muses. On occasion I'll use this one if something doesn't make sense. As a bonus, this one is (very) subtly animated. Watch his eyebrows.