I CAN HAZ OPENING SCENE.
Mar. 12th, 2009 10:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I can even haz opening scene that sucketh not.
*breathes*
*snuggles not!Harry*
Many many many thanks to the lovely and effulgent
pensive1 and
sunnyd_lite and
bigsciencybrain for suggestions and handholding.
I still think I've lost a good chunk of his sarcasm, but at this point he's just trying not to break into bitty shards because he flat does not have the information these bozos are torturing him for. And even if he did have it, he wouldn't give it to them, because he's a stubborn little bastard, so there. *adds even MOAR* OH GOD BEN.
I am a vile human being. They allow me to be around small animals and children because...?
*breathes*
*snuggles not!Harry*
Many many many thanks to the lovely and effulgent
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I still think I've lost a good chunk of his sarcasm, but at this point he's just trying not to break into bitty shards because he flat does not have the information these bozos are torturing him for. And even if he did have it, he wouldn't give it to them, because he's a stubborn little bastard, so there. *adds even MOAR* OH GOD BEN.
I am a vile human being. They allow me to be around small animals and children because...?
no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 06:10 am (UTC)p.s. HEY THAT KID IS A HOOKER.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 06:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 06:18 am (UTC)WHO'S MORE EVIL NOW
no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 05:00 pm (UTC)It's also increased by about 500 words from the original opening scene. Yay?
no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-13 10:12 pm (UTC)*squints* I wonder if this scene needs more dialogue. It's still smacking a little of telling rather than showing.